Don't Panic! 100 Friendly Crocodiles Escape Thailand.

I always get a very good laugh from reading the Thai newspapers. I am often left shaking my head at stories but always put it down to, “This is Thailand” or TIT.

One such story was in today’s Bangkok Post, it’s a crap paper like the other English language newspaper The Nation but every now and then you get a gem of a story like this.

The heading was, “100 Escaped Crocodiles ‘Not Fierce’”.

Straight away when I read this I nearly fell off my chair laughing, but then I thought they were maybe freshwater crocodiles so clicked on the link and went to the story.

The crocodiles have escaped from a crocodile farm in Uthai Thani province; the floods have caused havoc across parts of Thailand.

When I read this in the first paragraph I again pissed myself laughing.

“The Wildlife and Plant Conservation Department has sought to calm fears that the animals may attack people.”

I was thinking “How” and when I read on next I just laughed more.

"It (WPCD) says crocodiles raised in captivity have no instinct to attack humans."

Haha, how bloody funny is that! No instinct to attack humans. These people are absolute bloody stark raving mad lunatics. Crocodiles are prehistoric creatures and I am sure they will take a chunk out anything their jaws can snap at.

Then Mr. Thirapat Prayoonsit, the department's deputy chief of WPCD said some of the following.

“Most of the escaped crocodiles are young and less than a metre long.”

“They prefer to live in still water and avoid strong currents.”

But his best quote is this;

"Please do not panic. The crocodiles are not fierce like
those living in the wild. On the contrary, they are rather scared of
people."

Great! So I will see Mr Prayoonsit wading around chest deep water with some beef in his hands trying to capture these non fierce and scared of human crocodiles.

What I am amazed at is that there was not a word of doubt in the article. It seems no journalist challenged Mr. Prayoonsit and asked, “Are you an expert in crocodilian behaviour and can you guarantee they will not attack a human?” Or Crocodiles have been around since the dinosaurs and have survived on instincts; don’t you think these instincts will kick in quickly?

The good news is this. The crocodile farm is paying a whopping 3,000 baht per animal captured and returned. I hope the people who find them barter a better price or kill them, eat them and then sell their skin for a much better profit.

Sadly three of five tigers living at the crocodile park drowned, two were evacuated but the other three were not so lucky. What I don’t understand is how this could happen as it had been predicted for at least a week the flood waters.

Anyway, so don’t panic, the 100 odd non fierce crocodiles will not harm you but may want to play roll around in the water or a game of fetch or something like that.

Amazing Thailand, opps now it is Miracle Thailand. I forgot!

Brunty